


Shut Up And Dance With Me

by The_Great_Deprussian



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: And I Promise to Keep It SFW!, Ballet, Christmas Karaoke unless you want to die, Christmas Parties, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Despacito's a meme guys, Everyone Is Gay, Feli is the big shipper, Hip Hop, Human Names Used, I don't know, I promise, I write when I should be sleeping so this should be great, It's Spamano!, It's pretty canonically accurate except Roma can't sing, Karaoke, Language is cencored cuz I need to pretend I'm a good little Christian child, Latin, Lovi is the big gay, M/M, Many a song and dance, Matthew is smol, No Drama, Oh don't look at me like that!, P&L, Plot too tho, REAL TAGS NOW, Random impromptu dance sessions, Ribbon Dance, Russian Dance, Slight Homo-Erotic Tension, So are Francis and Gil, They can dance and I can't and that's sad, Toni is the big dumb, Well - Freeform, Why does Lovi hate Alfred so much, contemporary, dance competition, he just does, just dudes being guys, just guys being dudes, lyrical, not much, okay, so much crack, so much crack in this, the big gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27981630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Great_Deprussian/pseuds/The_Great_Deprussian
Summary: It all started when Lovino, for some reason, agreed to go with his fratello and Nonno to the dance studio. And now here he was. Being forced into a dance with a certian idiotic, and obviously not atallattractive Spaniard. In a competition. In front of hundreds of people. Bottom line.He.Was.Screwed.
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia), Demark/Norway, Finland/Sweden (Hetalia), France & Prussia & Spain (Hetalia), France/England, Germany/North Italy, Human names that I'm to lazy to type out, Lithuania/Poland (Hetalia), Maybe Hong Kong/Iceland, North Italy & South Italy, Prussia/Canda, Spain/South Italy
Comments: 11
Kudos: 17





	1. Lovi Never Wanted Any Of This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo my dudes! Welcome to this crack vessel Tired Me has created! The fruits of my late-night labors! So . . .enjoy the gay I guess.

Lovino Vargas scowled and stared out the car window as scenery raced past. He was aware his brother was talking to him, but he deigned to ignore him and instead turned his music up. Feliciano was the sole reason he, Lovi, was in the car in the first place asn he was not at all happy about it.

Something pulled the headphone out of Lovino’s ear and he jumped, before turning to glare at the culprit, “Oi! What was that for?”

Feli glanced away from the road for a moment to look at Lovi, “I’m trying to talk to you and you won’t listen to me.”

“Yeah, it’s called ‘ignoring.’ It’s something people do when they don’t feel like engaging in idiotic conversation.” Lovi snapped.

Feli laughed, “I know what ignoring is, silly! But I want to talk with my fratello!”

Lovi scowled and jerked a thumb at the back seat, “Talk to potato breath back there. I’m enjoying my solitude.”

Feli pouted and thought for a moment, then brightened, “Hey Lovi! We just had a conversation!”

Lovi pinched the bridge of his nose, but his lips twitched into a smirk, despite his efforts to stop it, “Idiota.”

Feli giggled and pulled into the studio parking lot, “Look! We’re here!”

Just like that, any traces of good humor were gone from Lovi as he glared daggers at the small building, “I don’t have to dance, right?”

Feli sighed, “Nooooo. But it _would_ be more fun if you did!”

Lovi nodded, ignoring the second part of that, and got out of the car, “Alright. Let’s get this over with.”

Lovi hung back slightly, hands in his hoodie pockets, as Feli dragged Ludwig to the door. There, Feli looked back expectantly, “Lovi! Hurry!”

Lovi’s scowl deepened, but he picked up the pace. A little. But, despite his efforts to delay, Feli was soon throwing open the doors to the dance club’s training room. Quite a few heads turned as Feli gave an enthusiastic greeting, which they returned.

Lovi quickly moved off to the side and scanned the room. He could see about five or so kids practicing throughout the room. Wait. . . no. There was one adult.

And he was currently Russian dancing on a table with a tall, intimidating boy.

Lovi facepalmed. He had the _weirdest_ grandpa. Literally ever.

Feli laughed, “Grandpa Roma! Can I join you?”

Roma looked over and waved, not even pausing, “Hey! Feli! There you are kiddo! Was wondering where you were! And, of course you can join us! Ivan, scootchie scootchie so Feli can fit too!”

Lovi pressed his lips together and turned, heading back towards the door. This was _not_ happening, “You know what? I’m going to wait outside.”

Hearing this, Feli gasped and leaped off the table before tackling Lovi from behind and sitting on him, “No! You can’t leave! You promised to stay!”

Lovi growled, “Feli, get off me! Now!”

Feli folded his arms stubbornly, “You promise not to leave?”

“Feli I swear to-”

Feli poked the back of Lovi’s neck, “Do. You. Promise.?”

Lovi rolled his eyes, “Ugh! Fine! I promise! Mother of Hera!”

Feli grinned and hopped off his brother, “Yay! Thank you Lovi!”

Lovi stood, wincing, and worked on brushing himself off, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

When Lovi looked up, he found everyone staring at him. He scowled, “What are you guys looking at?”

Quickly, almost everyone looked away and went back to their activities. One boy, however, bounded over, “Feli! Is this the brother you’re always talking about?”

“Yup! This is my big brother Lovino!” Feli smiled proudly.

Lovi gave the boy a quick once over before meeting his green eyes. He was hot, Lovi thought, with lightly tanned skin and a slim build. A hypnotizing accent. Firm muscles outlined by his t-shirt. Lovi felt his face flushed and he glared.

Undettered, the unfairly attractive boy stuck his head out, “Nice to meet you Lovino! I’m Antonio Fernandez Carriédo But you can call me Toni!”

Lovi raised an eyebrow and shook Toni’s hand, “Bless you.”

Then Lovi turned away and waved a hand over his shoulder as he went to a chair along the wall, “I’m going to sit over here.”

Grandpa Roma came over to the little group with a smile, “So Lovi! You finally decided to join!”

“What?!” Lovi spun around, “N-no! I-”

Roma clapped twice and interrupted Lovi, “I’m so glad! Okay everyone! Lovi is now our newest member! Be kind and helpful and just generally make him feel at home! He’s my grandson after all!”

Lovi felt, and probably looked, like a deer caught in the headlights, “What? Wait, no! I am not joining!”

Grandpa Roma scoffed, “Nonsense, of course you are! You can dance and you are here. And you’re my grandson! So you are joining. This is the way.”

Lovi was still in shock as cheers and ‘welcomes’ and ‘congratulations’ erupted throughout the room. Feli was laughing beside him and there was a twinkle in Toni’s eyes.

“I-I . . .I’m going to step outside.” Lovi said shakily.

This time, Feli let him go, “Okay, but if you try to run, remember, I know where you live!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah . . .so that happened . . .bye I suppose. Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Alfred is Jerkwad Supreme

Lovi hurried out the door, still reeling from what he had been forced into. But before he could escape, someone raced by, “Hey there dudes!”

Lovi quickly side-stepped to avoid being run over as a tall, blond boy ran past. He scowled, shock gone, “Watch it! You almost knocked me over!”

The boy skidded to a stop and glanced at Lovi, “Oh! Sorry dude! You’re just so small I guess I didn’t see you there!”

Lovi’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, “Do not. Call me short.”

The boy tilted his head, “Why not? I mean, you are!”

Lovi suppressed the urge to punch this imbecile’s stupid face in as Grandpa Roma strode over, “What’s going on?”

Lovi said. “He’s being a b*tch” at the same time the other boy said, “He's getting angry over nothing”

“I am not getting angry over nothing! You called me short!” Lovi snapped.

“Well excuse me for telling the truth! It’s not my fault you got all worked up about it!”

Roma raised both his hands, “Lovino, Alfred, stop. Stop arguing. Lovi, there’s no need to be so defensive. Alfred please, for Hylia’s sake, at least _try_ to think about what you are saying before you say it! Lovi is our newest member so I need you two to be civil to each other!”

“I never agreed to that!” Lovi protested.

He was ignored.

Alfred started in surprise, “Wha- wait . . .when did he audition?”

“He didn’t. I’ve seen my nipote dance and I know he will bring a lot to the club.” Roma’s voice was hard, daring Alfred to contradict him.

Alfred looked affronted but, seeing the look in his coach’s eye, said nothing. Instead, he stomped away to practice. Roma watched him a second, before reverting back to his usual happy self., “Okay Lovi! Do you want to start today?”

Lovi made a show of checking his clothes, a hoodie and jeans, then responded in an overly shocked voice, “I would love to Nonno! But would you look at that! I’m not dressed to dance because I _wasn’t. Planning. On joining!”_

Lovi’s voice got accusatory on the last couple words and he gave Roma a pointed look. Roma ignored the sarcasm and shrugged, “Oh well. There’s always next time!”

Toni snorted a laugh and Lovi glared at him, “Shut the f*ck up Tomato Bastard.”

Said boy quickly adopted a look of mock innocence, “Whaaat? I didn’t do anything!”

Lovi rolled his eyes and stalked to a seat, “Whatever. You guys enjoy. I’m going to sit down.”

_(Time skip brought to you by Alfred’s alien)_

“So?” Grandpa Roma asked as he started the car. Feli and Ludwig were going to the Beilschmidts’ house, so Roma was taking Lovi home, “What do you think?”

Lovi gave his nonno an unamused look. Roma put up one hand, “What?”

There was no reply from the short angry Italian. Roma sighed, “I would say I’m sorry but I don’t like to lie so I'm not going to. I think this will be good for you. You are extremely talented Lovi! You just need a chance to get over your stage fright, get out there, and show the world what you can do!”

Lovi shrugged, “I’m not as good as Feli or Potato Bastard, as much as I hate to admit it.”

“Lovi.”

“Sorry. Ludwig.”

Roma reached over and patted Lovi’s knee, “You don’t give yourself enough credit, Lovi!”

Lovi scoffed but said nothing, deigning to put his earbuds in and effectively end the conversation.

_(Aaaaaand, cut to Feli)_

“Feli!”

Feli paused outside his car and turned to see Toni running towards him. He skidded to a stop beside the red convertible, “Glad I caught you! I have a favor to ask!”

“Oh? What do ya’ need?” Feli smiled.

“You have an extra speaker, right?”

“Uh-huh. Why?:

“See, my old one broke. I was wondering if I could borrow your extra while my new one ships?” Toni smiled hopefully.

Feli chewed his lip and nodded, “Sure. But you are going to have to wait till tomorrow. I’m going to Ludwig’s, Nonno has a party, and I think Lovi would be none too pleased if you showed up on the doorstep.”

Toni laughed, “Sound good! Maybe I can stop by at . . .10? Tomorrow morning?”

Feli nodded, “That’s fine! See you then!”

Toni smiled gratefully and gave Feli a quick hug, “Thanks Feli! You’re the best!”

“Anytime!” Feli gave one last smile, before getting in the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so technically Alfred was just kinda doing his thing and _Lovi_ was being a jerk? *shrugs*Oh well. I have too few craps to give for me to waste on such trivial things as _technicalities_.
> 
> Oh and by the way, I also have a depresso expresso Spamano on here that takes top priority over this one. Sorry. But I just wanted to let you guys know. And I guess I should say I have trouble updating on breaks, and my holiday break is the next two weeks so I may be MIA for a little. Um . . .I think that's all the housekeeping so I will see you next time my broskies! Farewell!


	3. Lovi Never Wanted Any of This Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T^T Sorry it's been a while since I've updated. I . . .have no excuse. I'm just lazy af sometimes. *shruggo* But here I am! Enjoy!
> 
> Oh, and [here's the dance Lovi does in this chapter!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6bvdAC1hAE&list=PLtzj9b2_uXfrq1zC5Dp0QNCIAtXLx6GVP&index=4)

Toni rapped firmly on the front door of the Vargas household before stepping back to wait. There was no answer, on once came to open the door. So Toni, the persistent bastard he is, knocked again. But still there was no reply.

Toni shrugged and pushed open the front door, knowing a) the Vargas' never locked their door and b) they wouldn’t mind his coming in uninvited, as he was a close friend. I mean, _technically_ he was invited. And it wasn’t his fault no one was home.

As expected, the house was empty when Toni stepped inside, but still he called out, just to be sure, “Heyo! Anyone home? It’s Toni!”

With another shrug, Toni started towards the basement. He knew Feli and Grandpa Roma fixed it up, turning it into a studio and that that was where the speaker was going to be. At the top of the steps, Toni paused, having detected a sound in the silence. He listened closer and could make out music coming from the basement. Intrigued, Toni headed downstairs.

As he got closer, and could make out words, Toni could hear the strains of ‘Icarus’ by Bastille.. Toni’s curiosity spiked higher. That wasn’t at all the kind of music Feli and Ludwig, nor did Toni see the German’s truck in the driveway. And if it was Roma, it would probably be accompanied by awful singing. So who . . .?

Toni pushed open the door at the base of the stairs to see . . .Lovi? The little Italian was moving in quick, powerful movements, looking completely relaxed. Toni was completely entranced as he watched. He could feel his mouth hanging open, but was too in awe to care. He opened the door further and, unfortunately, it let out a loud creak.

Lovi jumped and looked to the door, eyes wide with fright. Then he saw Toni and his eyes narrowed as red crept up his neck, “Tomato Bastard. What the hell are you doing here? Don’t you know it’s rude to go into people’s houses uninvited?”

Toni waved a hand, “Not uninvited. Feli let me come here to pick up a speaker. But . . .Lovi! That was amazing! Just . . .wow! I see why Abuelo let you in without an audition!”

Scowling, Lovi turned off the music and wiped sweat off his forehead with the front of his shirt, “Whatever idiota. Just get your speaker and leave. And don’t you dare tell anyone you saw me.”

“Why not? It was so good, Lovi!”

“Lovino.” Lovi snapped.

“ . . .What?”

“My name’s Lovino, not Lovi.” 

Toni blinked, taken aback by the sudden topic change, then shrugged, “Alright Lovi. Anyway, I had this thought just now.”

“Shocker. Hope it wasn’t too much strain on you.” Lovi said dryly.

Toni wrinkled his nose, “Oh, ha ha. I’ll have you know I am - you know what! Stop changing the subject! I was _thinking_ , you and I should do a dance together. For the annual dance competition!” 

Lovi looked bewildered, “Who said anything about a dance competition?”

Toni tilted his head incredulously, “The annual high school dance competition? The one Feli does 

“Oh.” Lovi wrinkled his nose distastefully and folded his arms across his chest, “Yeah, no. No way I’m doing that.”

“Why not?”

“Why not? Because I’m not about to make a fool of myself in front of hundreds of people.”

“What do you mean by that?” Toni furrowed his brow in confusion.

“I mean I can’t dance idiota! At least not in front of other people!” Lovi rolled his eyes.

Toni laughed softly, “You move your hands a lot. Even more than Feli, I think.”

“No, I’m not going to . . .wait, what?”

Toni waved a hand, “Nothing. Anyway, I think you can dance Lovi! At least, if what I just saw was any indication!”

“Oh my gosh, are you even listening to me? I never said I couldn’t dance. I just said I couldn’t in front of other people!" Lovi looked mildly amazed by Toni’s sheer idiocy.

“Oh. Well then, no time like the present to get over your fears! You are going to do a program with me!” Toni set his shoulders stubbornly.

“Wha-”

A voice from upstairs interrupted Lovi, “Who’s there?”

Lovi shouted "Nobody!” as Toni lit up and gave an excited, “Abuelo!”

“Toni? Is that you? And Lovi?” Roma bounded down stairs with a grin.

“Yes sir!” Toni nodded happily.

Lovi gave a small wave, “Hi Nonno. Welcome back.”

“Lovi, my boy! How goes it!”

“I’m trying to help Lovi overcome his fear of performing by convincing him to dance with me in the competition!” Toni smiled proudly.

“It’s a moronic idea and I hate it.”

Roma nodded slowly as he considered this, ignoring Lovi, “That . . .is an excellent idea I think! Lovi?”

“Nope. Not gonna happen.”

Roma put a hand on his hip and pouted childishly, “Lovino Vargas, I’m your Nonno. And as your Nonno, and only wanting the best for you, I say you will do this. It’ll be good for you, I promise!”

Lovi glowered, "I said no, Nonno. As I will say every f*cking time we talk about this."

Roma stood up taller, "Lovino, language."

"F*ck you. I am not agreeing to this."

Roma narrowed his eyes, "Lovi, don't take that tone with me. I'm just trying to help."

"Well, don't! You and Feli are always butting into my business! Why can't you just leave me alone for heaven's sake!" Lovi almost yelled.

Roma's face darkened, "Lovi, go to your room. We can talk about this when you are calmer."

Lovi looked shocked, then glared at the both of them with an intensity Toni had never seen on anyone before. Then, he growled and stomped upstairs, slamming the door behind him. Toni stood in stunned silence as Roma rubbed his forehead.

“Is he . . .going to be okay? I don’t want to push him into something he doesn’t want to do . . .” Toni asked nervously.

Roma managed a small, strained smile, “Don’t worry lad. I meant it when I said this will be good for him. Lovi’s always been a little stage shy and I think you just might be the right person to break him out of his shell.:

“M-me?” Toni exclaimed, “Why me? I barely know him and I am pretty sure he hates my guts.”

Roma just winked and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So . . .didn't intend for Roma and Lovi to fight. It wasn't even in my first two rough drafts. And yet here we are. Um . . .so yeah. Hope you enjoyed! And I promise the drama will still be at a minimum! I just need Lovi to get his head out of his arse and suck it up. It'll happen eventually . . .I hope. Anyway, see y'all next time!


	4. Brother Bonding Time - Vargas Style

“Stupid. F*cking. Tomato Bastard!” Lovi punctuated each word with a violent punch to his pillow, “F*ck. His. Good. Intentions. And. Too. Kind. Heart!”

“Lovi? Can I come in?”

At the sound of his brother’s voice, Lovi reached over and threw a shoe at the door, “F*ck off!”

“I brought some of Nonno’s lasagna!” Feli chirped.

Lovi paused, then chucked another shoe. It hit the door with an extremely satisfying thump, “I’m not hungry!”

“Yes you aaaare!” Feli’s voice was sing-song this time.

“ . . .Just leave it outside the door.”

“Nope! No can do! You want it, then you gotta open the door and come get it!”

Lovi hesitated infinitesimally, then groaned and rolled off the bed. He trudged to the door and opened it. And before he could do anything, Feli was inside with two plates of food and settling himself on the bed. Lovi’s scowl, if you can believe it, deepened further.

“I didn’t invite you in here! Get out!" Lovi pointed at the open doorway.

“I’m your brother, silly! I don’t need permission!”

“Son of a-” Lovi sighed, running an irritated hand through his hair, “Whatever. Just give me that.”

Soon, they were sitting next to each other on Lovi’s bed eating silently(after a warning that if Feli dropped any on the bed he’d have hell to pay for it. Feli just laughed.) Feli finished quickly and set his plate on the nightstand before flopping back with a stretch and a sigh.

“So.” He began after a beat, “Heard you and Toni are doing a dance together for the competition.”

Lovi was quick to correct his brother, stabbing his lasagna violently, “Uh-uh. No. We are not dancing together. Never in a million years. I refuse to be forced into this.”

“Awww. Why not? It’d be fun!”

“Okay, first of all. I would not call any interactions with that airhead ‘fun.’ Second, I don’t even want to do the competition! I didn’t agree to that! Tomato Bastard and Nonno are trying to force me to!”

Feli sighed and began to follow the spinning blades of the fan with his eyes, “I think Nonno’s right. If you ever want to dance professionally, you need to get over your stage-fright. This could be the perfect chance! Toni’s a wonderful person and an amazing friend! I couldn’t think of a better person to help you than him!”

“But he’s just so . . .so . . .ugh! Irritating!” Lovi scowled, thinking about Toni’s infuriatingly innocent smile. And infectious laugh. And deliciously tan skin. And-

“Oooh! I see how it is!” Feli giggled, “Lovi’s in looove!”

Lovi flushed and looked away from his brother, folding his arms, “Am not!”

“Are to!” Feli began to poke Lovi repeatedly, “Are to, are to, are to, are to!”

“I am not! Mio Dio, you are so annoying!”

The brothers began to bicker(mostly) playfully for a few minutes. Then they lapsed into peaceful silence. Which, obviously, Feli had to break.

“Please, can you at least try to work with Toni? You and I both know there is no stopping Nonno when he sets his mind to something. You’re better off cooperating.”

Lovi whacked him with a pillow, “Shush. I’m enjoying the quiet. You should try it sometime.”

Feli stuck his tongue out, but Lovi ignored him. With a huff, Feli shut up. After a moment, Lovi spoke up, “And, I’ll think about it.”

Feli gasped and jumped up, turning to leave. He raced down the stairs yelling at the top of his lungs, “Yaaay! Nonno! Nonno, Lovi said he’d work with Toni!”

Lovi got up to stick his head out his doorway, “I said I’d _think_ about it idiota!”

Feli just laughed.

So a little while later, Toni’s phone chimed cheerfully with a message.

_Hey Tomato Bastard. Before you ask, this is Lovino and I got your number from Feli. Pick a time for us to practice. And don’t you dare pick a time before eleven on Saturday or Sunday._

Toni laughed and typed out a response, _Aye, aye Captain! :P How ‘bout my house at 2 tomorrow? Seems pretty safe to me cuz it’s after 11 and on a Thursday._

_K._

_See you then!_

Toni was surprised to receive no reply. With a small smile, he changed Lovi’s contact name to ‘Short Angry Italian.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, I _am,_ in fact, going to address the contact name later. Maybe not in the official plot, but I'm planning on starting a series of extra chapters for this, for all the ides I've had but can't figure out how to fit in the story.
> 
> On that note, hope you enjoyed and I will see you next time! Farewell!


End file.
